Sometimes It's Easier
by sockospice
Summary: Sequel to 'Unrequited'. Can Randy help Lita get her life, heart and soul back?
1. Chapter 1

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (1?)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?  
Author notes: I've got a pretty good idea of where this is going, but I'd love your comments and suggestions, especially for the minutiae of life for the couple.

"Can you stay?" Lita was reluctant to move from her comfortable position in Randy's arms, it was the safest she'd felt in a long time and she didn't want it to end, but the practical side of her brain wanted to know how long Randy would be able to stay with her.

"I have to be there for the Smackdown taping tomorrow night angel, so I need to fly out tomorrow morning at the latest," he wanted to stay for longer, but knew what the repercussions would be if he missed the show.

She nodded, satisfied, and closed her eyes again. She hadn't been sleeping well recently, and was absolutely exhausted. The tears and thoughts of the last few hours had taken it out of her too. It had seemed like the cumulation of everything that had happened over the last few months. She still couldn't quite believe that Randy wanted her, that he forgave her for her behaviour, that he was willing to be there for her and would love her as she had been craving for so long.

Randy sighed. The girl in his arms right now meant more to him than anyone else, and to hold her and comfort her gave him a feeling inside that he'd never had before. He wasn't sure if it was love, or protectiveness, or something else, but it was a feeling impelling him to take this girl away from everything and never let anyone hurt her again, and to never let her hurt herself or hate herself ever again. It was a feeling that he knew he must fight though. He couldn't protect her, as much as he wanted to. Support her, yes, but to protect her would take responsibility and independence from her, and that would be wrong.

Her independent spirit had been one of the things that had first attracted him to her. He'd watched her for a few months before approaching her and offering friendship. They'd both been out as part of a big group, and it was the usual loud, raucous night. This was before she'd split up with Matt, before she'd been with Edge. She'd been quieter than usual that night, shrugging off all of Trish's attempts to get her up and dancing, and all of Stacy's attempts to get her involved in conversation. Instead, she'd sat there, matching the guys drink for drink yet not saying a word. Randy had been intrigued at her behaviour, and instead of trying to talk to her, he got her attention by getting a bottle of tequila from the bar and suggesting she take a walk down to the beach with him. They'd been in California as far as he could remember, but cities seemed to merge into one after a while, and he couldn't be sure of that. She'd smiled up at him and nodded, and they'd left, unnoticed by anyone. They'd sat on the beach and talked for hours, until the sun came up, and Randy had walked her back to the hotel. That was how their friendship had started, and it had continued in that vein ever since.

He'd always seen himself as protective towards her, picking up the pieces as she slowly destroyed herself. The contradiction of her being so independent, yet needing him so badly, had confused and frustrated him, yet ultimately comforted him, because as long as she needed him he could be there for her. He loved that she would argue with him, yet moments later desire his help. He loved that contradiction in her.

He loved her. That had become clear to him early in the friendship. It was when she'd called him up and told him what she'd started with Edge, and his first emotion had been raging jealousy. He hadn't realised how deeply his feelings ran until that point. He'd indulged her a lot in that period, conforming with her desire to not be told that she was wrong, that people would get hurt. In a way, they were both in denial. By denying his feelings, it was easier to stay close to her. He'd known that Matt would eventually have discovered the secret, and in one way felt guilty for not doing more to prevent the outcome. She'd known that too, and had denied the reality that would eventually come. Until it came, and then she'd needed Randy more than ever.

He didn't expect her to fall apart the way she did though. As she'd always been independent, and strong, he'd assumed that she'd get through it. He'd misjudged her though, and learned from that. From then on he'd paid special attention to how she spoke as well as what she said, and had started to understand her motivations and fears. He learned that her sadness and self-destructive streak came from somewhere way back, and that the situation with Matt and Edge was the proverbial straw that had broken the camel's back. He learned that the independence he'd loved was a shield.

It didn't change his feelings though. In fact, it magnified them. Her independence was a part of her, but it wasn't. It was integral to what she was but it also hid everything she was. He understood her, finally; loved her, completely.

He may have understood her completely, but he didn't quite understand himself. Lita was complicated, confusing, and needy. The sort of person Randy would have run away from not too long ago. He was a young guy, only twenty-five, and he was not the sort of person who usually looked for deep and meaningfuls. That was the Randy Orton of previous times. He had been a bit of an idiot back then, doing some stupid stuff, being too cocky for his own good, and to all intents and purposes, not a very nice person. He wasn't sure where the wake up call had come from, but it had come. Maybe from the time he'd known Lita, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that in his friendship with her, she hadn't judged him by the rumours, or by his previous behaviour. It had been like he'd been given a clean slate, a second chance to make something of himself. With Lita, he'd taken that chance with both hands.

Her breathing had evened now, and he realised she was fast asleep. Loath as he was to wake her, he was exhausted too after travelling all night and also figured it was likely he'd lose all feeling in his arm after a while if he stayed in this position. Gently he moved, trying not to wake her, but her eyes fluttered open.

"You're…not going Randy?"

"No angel, I'm not going yet. I was gonna take you back to your bed though."

She nodded, barely half awake, allowing him to pick her up and carry her to her bed. When he covered her and made to leave she awoke a little more, "where are you going?"

"I didn't know if you wanted…" Randy wanted to be with her, but he didn't want to presume or push too far.

"Stay," she moved to one side of the bed and pulled the covers back a little, "want you to."

He nodded and quickly stripped off. She smiled sleepily as he joined her and wrapped his arms around her too thin frame, "thank you Randy."

He kissed her forehead, mind whirling but at the same time screaming for sleep, "don't thank me Li. I love you babe."

She was asleep again within a few minutes. He fought the tiredness to watch the peace and tranquillity on her face, marvelling that he could be here, and be this close to her. Eventually, exhaustion took over and he joined her in rest.


	2. Chapter 2

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (2?)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?

They eventually awoke late in the evening, both refreshed but hungry. Although it would probably screw up their body clocks somewhat, they both showered and dressed, Lita deciding that she may as well make breakfast, as neither had eaten all day. Randy went along with her whims, happy just to see a smile on her face.

As she made scrambled eggs he gently teased her about wearing his t-shirt to sleep in.

"I just wanted to be close to you babe… it smells of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You looked gorgeous you know. You have the sexiest legs."

"I do?" She looked a little surprised.

"What, no one's ever told you that before?" She shook her head. "Man, people are stupid sometimes."

"Well, thank you babe," she carried over a plate to him, "now shut up talking crap and eat."

He shook his head but acquiesced. Now wasn't the time to get into it, and he was starving after all.

* * *

Randy figured that he had to leave for the airport in about three hours time, to make sure that he got back in time for the Smackdown taping. He wanted to make the most of the time, while at the same time to just relax and enjoy being with her. It seemed that Lita had plans of her own though.

"Babe, I need to talk to you," she sat cross-legged on the couch, chewing her bottom lip nervously. "Come and sit down."

He nodded, a little worried. After everything yesterday, he wasn't sure that he was ready to talk about anything too emotional.

"I need you to…" she looked and sounded a little scared about asking him, which fired up the protective side of him immediately.

"Li, don't ever be scared about asking me something, or telling me something."

She looked at him and smiled, "ok. Would you… I need you to not mention me and you to Matt until I say it's ok. I'm gonna call him and tell him myself. I need to do that."

He couldn't help the grin that crossed his face. It sounded like the independent Lita was back, "sure thing babe. When are you gonna call him?"

"After you've gone… I know him, he'll probably approach you tonight and say something," she ran her hand through her hair, frustrated, "I don't know what he'll say…"

"It doesn't matter. It won't change anything."

"I just want him to be the first to know. I don't want him hearing it second hand. Despite everything, I have too much respect for him and what we had than to have him hear like that."

"So once you've told Matt you're ok with other people knowing? I know for sure I'm gonna have about ten messages on my cell from Dave when I switch it on. I kind of left last night without telling anyone where I was going."

Lita looked surprised at that. It was completely out of character for Randy to be that impulsive, "was that because of what Chris said?"

"Yeah," when he saw how downcast she suddenly looked he continued quickly to reassure her, "when he told me what you said, I had to see you. Nothing else mattered. Just you."

"Really?"

"Really," he paused, licking his lower lip, a little worried that he might be putting too much pressure on, too soon, "when he said that you said you loved me, I had to come."

"I regret how I treated him."

"I know," Randy didn't want to upset her by betraying exactly how bitter Chris had sounded, but knew she'd find out sooner or later. He'd rather it be from him than someone whose only intention would be to cause trouble, "he sounded hurt."

"I guessed that… at least, I wondered… part of me doesn't think I'm important enough to hurt someone… but a part of me hates myself for hurting him as well. It's stupid isn't it?" She wrapped her arms around her legs protectively, drawing herself into a protective ball.

"Not stupid Li. Don't ever call yourself that. Li, babe, I know that you've… you've spent so long putting yourself down it's kind of got like a habit to you, hasn't it?" When she nodded, he continued, "Li, everyone else recognises how special you are, and sees you for the special, sexy, gorgeous woman you are. I know you don't see it right now," he held up his hand as she started to protest, "I know you don't, but you are, babe. I wouldn't lie to you."

"It's gonna take me a while to learn to believe you Randy." She sounded so desolate it was all he could do not to take her into his arms and kiss her there and then.

"I'll be here as long as it takes and after that too, I promise," he couldn't resist, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. She was surprised but it was everything she wanted too, and she responded passionately. She felt like her body was the only thing she had left to offer him, and was willing to give him that if he wanted it.

"I need you," she whimpered into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, "I need you so much Randy."

"Li…" He took a deep breath and tried to think clearly, knowing what was going on in her head and not wanting to reinforce that feeling she had, but at the same time wanting her so much it physically hurt. "Li, I know. I know why you're doing this. I won't go babe, I promise. You've given me enough. You don't have to prove anything."

Hurt crossed her face, soon to be replaced with understanding. It was becoming clear exactly how well he knew her. She closed her eyes, not able to face him, shocked that he understood him almost better than she understood herself. Before she could speak, he put a gentle finger to her lips and spoke again.

"Li, you are more than your body. Baby, god knows I want you, but I… I need to show you that there's more to us, more to you, than that, do you know what I mean?" He couldn't believe he was actually turning down sex with the woman he desired more than anything, but he was. He could see how much it meant to Lita, and that was enough for now. He would no doubt regret this decision on the lonely nights away from her, but for now it felt like the right thing to do.

"I understand.," it meant the world to her to hear him say that. She turned away, not wanting to cry again. But she did. And he turned her to face him and kissed those tears away.

"We're gonna be good together Li. I promise you. We don't need to rush anything."

For the first time in a long time, she felt optimistic. She believed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (3?)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?

Randy had been right, when he switched his cell phone on as he arrived at the arena for that night's Smackdown taping he had six messages from Dave, and two from Lita. He quickly skipped through the ones from his friend to get to the ones from his lover. A smile crossed his face as he listened to her voice.

"Hey babe, only me. Just wanted… to say thank you… and to say I miss you already. See you in St. Louis on Friday babe."

"Randy, it's me again… I spoke to Matt… he seemed cool with it. I guess he'll talk to you later, yeah? Love ya babe."

He grinned as he shut down the phone and made his way into the arena, knowing it was a matter of time before Dave found him and demanded to know what was going on. Sure enough, Randy had just dumped his bags in the locker room and was walking to catering when he heard a gruff voice behind him, "where the hell did you get to Sunday night?"

Randy turned round and couldn't keep the happiness from his face. He felt like a little kid, excitement hadn't coursed through his veins like this for a long, long time.

"Hey man, you ok?" Dave caught up with the younger man and threw a friendly arm around his shoulder, "one minute you were there, the next you'd disappeared. What gives?"

"I had to go see someone."

"Who? Was it this mystery woman you've been worrying over for the last few months?"

Randy nodded, "Lita, yeah."

"Ah, I guessed it might be her. And? Did you finally get it on?"

Randy rolled his eyes, "there's more to life than sex Dave."

The big man feigned looking surprised, "there is? Since when?"

"Fool," Randy elbowed him in the stomach, "but yeah, we're together."

"You are? Cool." Batista's voice lowered as they walked into the catering room, "does Hardy know?"

"Yeah, she called him up after I left," Randy could see Matt making a beeline over to him, and nodded over, "I'll catch up with you, yeah?"

He followed the dark haired man into the corridor, and waited expectantly. Matt obviously had something to say. Randy watched as he paced, trying to decide what to say by the look of it.

"Just spit it out Hardy."

Matt looked surprised at the impatience, but nodded and began to speak, "Lita called me up. She told me about you two… do you know what you're getting into?"

"Me and Li have been friends for a long time now Matt."

"It's different when you're dating… she sabotaged what we had. I loved her and she destroyed it… she'll do the same to you, it's just the way she is, so you'd best not give her your heart if you value it."

It was obvious to Randy that Matt still had strong feelings towards Lita, even if he was trying to hide them with hate, "Li's complicated, I know that. Thanks for the advice man, but I've already given her everything I have, and I'm not going back now. I don't know what's gonna happen but right now we're doing good."

"Best get yourself tested man, y'all don't know what she's picked up all the sleeping around she's done over the last few years…" he didn't get any further with that sentence because Randy punched him in the face.

"What sort of man says that about a woman he used to love? I know she messed you around but hell, that's below the belt. You never deserved her," Randy didn't trust himself to say any more, so he walked off. He regretted losing his temper already, but he thought Matt had had that coming. Ever since he'd released word of what had happened online, Randy had wanted to punch him, but hadn't because that would cause trouble for Lita. Now, he was regretting his impulsiveness even more.

He walked back into catering, located Batista, and went to sit with him. The older man could see that something had happened by the way Randy was flexing his knuckles, but wasn't sure whether to ask or not. Figuring that subtlety was never his strong point, he came out and asked, "what happened?"

"I hit him." Randy was still angry, but this time at himself.

"Idiot."

"I know."

"So…" Batista looked at Randy as if he was stupid, "so what are you gonna do?"

"He deserved it. I'll have to tell her of course… god I regret it already. It's the last thing she needs." Randy had his head in his hands, so he missed the his friend's amusement until the big man spoke again.

"About time someone gave him a wake up call. She may have cheated, but talking all that shit on his website was well out of order. Lita ain't the first person to have done what she did. She's a good girl at heart, he's just a whiny bitch. You've only done what a lot of people wanted to do. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks man," the approval wasn't from the person he really wanted it to be from, but he respected Dave, so it would do for now. He didn't look forward to telling Lita though.

* * *

"Hey babe,"

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah," he hoped she didn't pick up on the worry in his voice, but she did.

"What's wrong honey?" Scenarios went through her head, the worst of all being him changing his mind. Panic infused her voice.

"I hit Matt."

Relief was the first thing to hit her, then anger. Then, she played his voice back in her head and heard the regret there. And she wasn't sure, but there might have been fear too. "Why?"

"He… he was a prick… and I lost my temper. I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."

"He can be a prick sometimes," there was something in her words that worried him, something in the inflection of her voice that pricked up the protectiveness in him, but he didn't speak. He listened, waiting for her judgement on him. "Did he say something about me?"

"Yeah, and I just saw red. I'm sorry… well in one way I am, in one way I'm not," he moved the phone to his other ear where it was more comfortable, "he's been an asshole for months now."

"Randy, you can't go beating up on everyone who says something about me," she sighed, knowing how people thought about her, knowing that WWE was playing on that, knowing that how she was portrayed on screen was exactly how many people saw her.

"I know. I can be so stupid sometimes," he cursed inwardly, knowing that his actions would more than likely just cause more trouble for her in the long run. "I'm sorry."

She was silent, for a while, although he could hear her breathing.

"Li? You ok babe?"

"I'm ok Randy. I'll be ok."

That wasn't the certainty he wanted in her answer, but it would have to do for now. It would take time for her to get back to how she used to be, if she ever did. He knew it was a journey she feared making.

"I love ya babe, you know that, yeah?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "I know."

She hated herself for not being what he deserved, not being what he needed. She would try though, for him. It hurt more than she'd ever expected being away from him: she craved the feeling of security she had when he was there. Her mind went to Matt, briefly wondering what he'd said to make Randy react like that. She knew Randy, and he wasn't the sort of person to lash out. Someone had once joked that Randy was so laid back he was almost horizontal, and it described him to a tee. She was slowly realising how much he'd changed since they'd first become friends. He'd been worried about her for much longer than he'd let on, she knew that now; and he'd been the strong one because she needed him to be. She wasn't sure why he'd done it, but he'd done a lot of growing up since she'd really known him. Inside though, he was still the same Randy, and that was the man she loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (4?)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?  
A/N: This has completely changed direction to what I was planning, so it's not going to be updated as regularly as I'd like. It will be updated though, as much as I can manage.

Randy kept a low profile for the next couple of days. He didn't particularly feel like getting into a confrontation with Matt, and he didn't feel like listening to the inevitable gossip that was going round about him. Dave kept him updated and was conducting somewhat of a damage limitation exercise, firmly squashing the worst excesses of people's imaginations. Randy was extremely grateful that his friend was so influential in the locker room, as some of the stories people had created were hideous. Randy was also grateful that Masters had been so discreet. No one seemed to know about that particular incident, and if they did, they kept it to themselves.

Dave found his young friend's behaviour most amusing. He had never realised that Randy could feel so deeply about a person. The young man had always been fickle, difficult to pin down, enjoying his freedom and enjoying the privileges his job and looks gave him. Slowly though, he'd changed, grown up, become responsible. Randy had run away from his responsibilities before. Now, it didn't look like he was going to. He seemed more committed to Lita than he'd been to anything else, including his job. And that was a big commitment, because Randy loved wrestling.

Randy loved Lita though, it was clear to anyone who knew him. The smile that came to his face when his cell phone rang, the daydreaming, the focus on his work. Randy felt like he had been given purpose, like he had someone who would be proud of him if he did well. It meant a lot to have Lita call him and tell him that he'd looked good, or had a good match. He felt like with each success something was being built for the future.

* * *

Things weren't so great for Lita. In some ways things were improving: she was slowly building up her self confidence, slowly starting to relax and accept the compliments that Randy gave her, slowly accepting how things had happened and how things needed to change. Each day spent with Randy was a good one, either at his home or hers, each parting gave a hope and something to look forward to. In some ways, her life was getting better.

In other ways, things were getting far, far worse. On screen, her association with Edge was going from bad to worse. The bosses were expecting her to do things that before she would have accepted, but now turned her stomach. It wasn't that she minded losing a few clothes or faking a few sex acts; hell, she'd been a stripper once. It was what it represented, to her colleagues, and to the fans. To most people, it just confirmed what she already was. It confirmed their view, tainted as it was by rumours spread by those she thought she could trust. And it broke her a little, to do that. Especially with the man who had already been so influential in her fall.

She'd discussed it with Randy before Raw, wanting him to tell her not to do it, willing to quit if only he would say he didn't want her to. He wouldn't tell her that though, he just told her that he loved her and he understood why she was reluctant. He knew she loved her job too much to quit, and knew she'd resent him eventually if he told her what she wanted to hear.

She flew straight out to him after Raw, that Monday night, and spent most of the night sobbing in his arms. She couldn't look at people, she refused to let herself see the hate and disgust in their eyes. She would only look at Randy, because she knew she'd see love there.

Randy felt lost. He didn't know what to do, or say, apart from holding her and whispering words of love in her ear. He knew this would be hard for the strongest person to bear, never mind someone so fragile and damaged. He hated the writers for coming up with these ideas, he hated Edge for going along with them. He wanted to hurt someone, he wanted someone to suffer the same way Lita was right now.

He wanted things to be different. He didn't know what to do, what to say, how to make this better, how to make it right. One side of him knew that it wasn't his job to make things right, but his heart wanted him to, each time he looked at her and saw her despair. All he could do was hold her and prove to her that at least one part of her life was secure and safe.

She hardly slept that night, going over in her head what had happened, what she'd done. Each time she looked at Randy as he slept she felt revulsion at herself, anger at herself, and anger at him. Eventually her emotions got the better of him and she shook him awake.

"What…Li, what's wrong?" Randy was still half asleep, but alert enough to know that something wasn't right.

"Why didn't you tell me not to do it? Why did you let me do it Randy?"

"What?" Randy rubbed his eyes and sat up, leaning over to get a glass of water from the bedside table when the look on Lita's face told him that this was going to be a long night. "Li, do we need to talk about this now babe? I'm tired, you're exhausted…"

"I can't sleep. I keep thinking about it," she snapped, "all you had to say was no, and I'd have quit."

Randy shook his head, this wasn't the time for an argument but it seemed that Lita was looking for one, "Li, I'm not here to tell you what to do…"

"If you loved me you'd have told me not to do it, you know I didn't want to."

It hurt to have his love thrown back in his face like that, "so what, you wanted to use me as an excuse? I'm sorry Li. I do love you, you know I do, but you can't use me like that."

"So you'd rather me go through that than damage your male pride?"

"No! Jesus, Li, why are you twisting things? You're an independent woman, you can make your own decisions." Randy's temper wasn't quick to flair, but when it did, it was slow to burn out, and it was close to ignition right now.

"I don't want to make my own decisions. I'm fed up of being strong and independent and everything I'm not."

"I'm not here to protect you. God knows I want to, but I can't. Li…" this was frustrating for Randy more than anything, as he knew what Lita wanted, and in one way, he wanted to do what she asked of him, but he couldn't, for a couple of reasons. One, it just wasn't him. He was capable of love and support, but to be that protective, to be that overpowering was too much. Two, it was too much pressure. He was willing to love Lita, and to support her, but he wasn't capable of running her life, making her decisions. He didn't want to do that.

"You mean you won't."

"No, I mean I can't." He got out of bed and walked over to the window, not wanting to face her and not wanting to lose his temper. "Li, I don't want us to fight. I'm gonna go for a walk before I say something I regret." He pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt and walked over to put on his trainers. Sitting down on the bed next to her he looked at the redhead and sighed, "I love you babe. I'll be back in an hour or so."

She nodded, suddenly contrite. As the door slammed shut she realised what she'd done and buried her face in the pillow. The scent of his shampoo just reminded her of what she'd just driven away.

* * *

Randy walked for a long time, a couple of hours or so. It cleared his head, but didn't help his mind any. He couldn't see a way out of what Lita wanted him to do. He couldn't make her decisions for her, and he couldn't run her life. Hell, he had enough trouble running his own at times. He'd known she was fragile, impulsive, fiery, needy: he'd known all that and it hadn't stopped him from getting into this. It wasn't that he regretted being with her, but he did wonder if he was in too deep.

When he finally got back to the hotel Lita was sleeping. It looked fitful, but at least she was getting some rest. He undressed and slipped into bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her and hoping the gesture wouldn't be rejected. It wasn't. She snuggled up close to him, having missed his warmth and strength. The contradictions in her behaviour confused Randy but he accepted it for now and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

"I'm sorry. About last night, I mean," Lita sat cross-legged on the bed, watching Randy as he packed up his clothes, ready to travel to another hotel in another city, "I didn't mean what I said… I was just taking out my frustrations on you."

"I know," Randy stopped packing momentarily, and sat at her side, "I know, but it's not easy for me to deal with you know. I see you so upset and I so much want to protect you from everything. I can't though."

"I know. I shouldn't ask you to."

"I don't know Li. Maybe it's what I should be doing. Maybe I should be doing all that. I don't know how to, I don't think I can."

It surprised Lita to hear that, because Randy never admitted weakness. He had always had a supreme confidence in his own abilities, and because of his military experience, hated admitting that something was beyond him. He didn't talk about it all that much, but she knew that it had scarred him in many more ways than he ever let on.

"I worry I'm not going to be all you need me to be," the admission was stark, and she would remember the look on his face as he said those words for a long time to come.

"I love you," she whispered, determination sparking within her. This was the wake up call she'd been waiting for, the realisation that her behaviour wasn't just breaking her, it was hurting Randy too. "I will change Randy. I promise I will."

He hoped this promise would happen. He hoped it wouldn't get to the stage where he couldn't take any more.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Sometimes It's Easier (5?)  
Rating: PG or K+  
Content: Angsting, sappiness  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue  
A/N: Since this has really changed direction to what I was originally intending, I'm not entirely sure of it. Concrit would be really appreciated.

For the next few weeks, Lita made a concerted effort, and seemed to be doing well. She'd re-forged friendships with a couple of the other divas, she'd almost convinced the bosses to let her wrestle again, and she was accepting Randy's efforts to build up her self esteem. Randy for his part was relieved, and for a while their relationship was as close to normal as it could get. The little things were significant to Lita, things like making breakfast in bed for Randy on the rare occasions they had a few days at home, like waking up to a text message professing love on the days they were apart. Randy was quite the romantic, contrary to what people might think of him. He was in many ways different to the cocky persona he portrayed on screen: part of that was him, he was immensely confident in his wrestling talent, and he knew he was good looking. The similarities pretty much ended there though. While the Randy Orton on screen was driven and single-minded, the real Randy was laid back, and pretty much happy to let things go as they were. He didn't like to cause arguments, didn't particularly like to cause trouble for others; while he would fight for things to further his career, he wasn't too keen on doing it at the expense of others. He knew that wrestling wasn't exactly a clean or friendly career though, and having grown up in the business, knew that there were too many people who would stab him in the back for a chance at what he had. He wasn't naïve about how things worked.

In essence, Lita saw Randy as a walking contradiction: as both everything he was on screen and nothing he was on screen. It was one of the things that she loved about him, that one part of his character could come out in two different ways, depending on where he was and what mindset he was in. She loved the arrogant side to him, found that self-confidence sexy as hell and somewhat inspiring; but the vulnerable, sensitive side of him that was constantly worrying about her? That was something she adored.

She leant on him, she realised that. His strength and protection was important to her growth, to her confidence; she wasn't reliant though, he wouldn't let her be. In a way, it had helped that they were on different shows, as it meant she couldn't hide behind him when bitchy comments came her way, she had to rely on herself, on her own strength. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she was strong, she was independent; but now she was those things because she wanted to be, not just because she had to be.

* * *

It was only a few times a year that the Smackdown and Raw rosters got together, and the Royal Rumble was the first such time since Randy and Lita had got together. By now their relationship was common knowledge in both locker rooms, and the gossip had pretty much subsided. It was the first time Lita would come into contact with Matt since she'd got together with Randy though, and she wasn't looking forward to the inevitable meeting with him. She knew Matt too well, and from his reaction when he'd spoken to Randy, and the things she'd heard since, he wasn't taking their relationship well, despite his assurances otherwise when she'd last spoken to him. In a way, she hadn't really expected him to, as he was the sort of person to hold things close, and hold them for a lot longer than was healthy or necessary.

She decided to bite the bullet and seek him out. At least that way they worst of any confrontation would take place without an audience. He wasn't that hard to find, being, as he usually was, in catering. She caught his eye and motioned for him to follow her out into the corridor. Without a word she walked away, expecting him to follow, which he did. Eventually she found an empty room and walked into it. He slammed the door behind him.

"What do you want?" He was blunt, making the most of her obvious discomfort.

"I wanted to talk to you, and for whatever arguments we're gonna have to happen in private, and right now," she could be as blunt as he was, because all of a sudden she didn't care. She'd apologised, offered olive branches, she'd done everything she could to make amends to Matt. She couldn't, and she decided right now she wouldn't, do anything else.

"What makes you think I want to argue with you?"

"Well the tone of your voice and your attitude for a start," she'd not intended it to be like this, but as he'd come into this as antagonistic, she saw no reason for sparing his feelings, "plus what you said to Randy about me. Did you really think he wouldn't tell me?"

Matt looked a little shocked, before regaining his composure, "should've known that whiny bitch would have gone running to you."

She laughed, "whiny bitch? That's rich coming from you. Matt, grow up and start acting like an adult. Yes, I cheated on you, and yes, I'm sorry about that. I could apologise until the end of my days but I don't think it would make any difference to you because I think that at the end of the day you like being this wronged martyr figure. You need to move on."

"Like you have? Like it was all a fuss over nothing and like nothing ever happened?"

"I nearly destroyed myself after everything that happened, you know that? I was drinking and doing stupid stuff and I didn't care because I thought I had destroyed everything good in my life. It took me pretty much hitting rock bottom before I realised that I deserved a second chance." She was telling herself this for the first time, realising how much she'd changed herself, as well as revealing to Matt what she'd been through. "I know I'm not the one to be giving you advice, but let it go and move on. I mean, if you want you can carry on as you are, criticising me to everyone, then fine, but eventually people are gonna get sick of hearing it."

"I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me," she already knew that, but to hear him say it actually surprised her. "I wanted to do something that would hurt you more than anything else. I was the one in the right here, I was the one who was hurt."

"And you did hurt me. And yes you were the one who got hurt but things are never black and white Matt, you know that. Sometimes it's not about right and wrong, it's about things that just happen. Now let it go, please. Move on." She stared at the man she used to love, although the man in front of her bore little resemblance to the man she'd fallen in love with. They'd grown apart long before she'd fallen for Edge, although neither had been willing to acknowledge that.

"That's easier said than done Lita. You hurt me, don't you think I have the right to be angry? Do you think that this has been easy for me?"

"I know. Although it was me that made the mistake, it hasn't been easy for me either. I loved you Matt, despite everything…" she looked away, not wanting to see that hurt on his face, knowing she'd caused it yet again. Matt was always a man who wore his emotions on his sleeve. If he hurt, you knew.

"I know," he forced a smile, "I… I'm sorry… I never meant to destroy you… hurt you, yeah… but never that… I thought you were stronger than to let my words affect you like that."

"Thank you." His words brought a little peace to her heart, at the same time as reinforcing how well Randy understood her compared to how her relationship had been with Matt.

"I don't know if I can say friends… but truce?"

She nodded, and held out a hand, "truce."

She walked out of the room with a smile, and more confidence than she'd had in a long time. She'd become the person she wanted to be, at long last. And the incredible thing was, she didn't even need to tell Randy all about it. He just knew.

He looked at her, brushed her cheek with his hand and grinned, "you talked to him?"

She nodded, "we called a truce."

"He understands?"

"Yeah… I realised a lot about us."

"Us… you and me, or you and him?"

"Both… you know me better than he ever did."

That surprised Randy, after all six years was a long time to be with someone and yet still not know them, "thank you angel."

"Why?"

"Because," he leaned down and kissed her slowly, tenderly, but with everything he had, "that you've allowed me to know you means the world to me. I love you babe."


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Sometimes It's Easier (6?)  
Rating: PG or K+  
Content: Angsting, sappiness  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, they make me smile!

Randy was finding things difficult both personally and professionally. He was involved in a controversial storyline that was making him most uncomfortable, with scripts that called for him to utter words that he'd never think in a million years, never mind actually come out and say them. It was difficult to force a smile and pretend to Lita that everything was ok.

Everything wasn't ok. And he blamed himself for that. His pretence was getting harder and harder to keep up, and he wanted, and needed Lita's support and reassurance. The problem was, he was afraid to ask for it. He wasn't sure if Lita was ready to take his weight.

* * *

Time off was a scarce commodity, but occasionally their schedules worked out so that they had three or four days off together. On this occasion, Randy had decided to surprise Lita by getting to her place a few hours before she got back, and he planned to treat her to a candlelit meal, champagne and chocolates. He wasn't the most original guy when it came to romance, but he was sincere and enthusiastic. He also hoped making the effort in doing this might take his mind off work concerns.

Things were getting tough for him: although most fans knew that there was a difference between on and off screen, some didn't. And it was that minority that seemed determined to cause trouble. Randy had been waiting to collect his luggage at the airport when one wrestling fan had recognised him and bitched him out for desecrating Eddie's memory. Randy had hung his head in shame, agreeing with the fan but not being stupid enough to risk his career by doing so publicly. The words stung though. It was hard to remember that the fan was ranting at Randy Orton the character, not Randy Orton the person, when the words were so vitriolic. They cut deep, despite all the rationalising.

He knew why Lita felt the way she did now, how helpless and hurt a situation like this could leave a person. It was one thing understanding how a person felt, another thing to understand why. It made him love her a little more, if such a thing was possible.

He was impatient for her arrival, hoping that her presence would be enough to take his mind off his own problems. She'd sounded better, happier, in recent weeks, and he was hopeful that it was because she was rebuilding her fragile self esteem, rebuilding her dreams, rather than rebuilding the walls she'd built up to protect herself. He hoped that she'd still need him.

The sound of her key in the front door was a welcome one. He walked into the hallway to greet her, not wanting to appear as desperate for her touch as he actually was. He held out his arms and she dropped her bags and ran into them, kissing him fiercely, as if any further deprivation from him would have killed her completely.

"Missed you angel," Randy breathed as he reluctantly pulled away.

She looked at him curiously, there was something in his voice she didn't recognise. It was the same waver in pitch she'd heard the last few times they'd spoken on the phone. He was hiding something from her, and it worried her, scared her a little. She forced a smile though, and caressed his cheek, "missed you too. I'm so glad we've got this time off together."

"Me too," he grinned, pushing his problems to the back of his mind for now to concentrate on the woman in his arms, "you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Good, the food'll be about another hour, you go sit down, I'll get us a glass of wine." He kissed her forehead and walked to the kitchen, and she did as he asked, figuring that everything seemed ok for now, and if things were going to change, she might as well enjoy it while she could.

He walked out to her carrying two glasses and an uncorked bottle, and sat at her side, carefully handing her a glass and pouring her a drink.

After he'd poured his own, he put the bottle to one side and touched his glass to hers. "To us," he whispered.

She smiled, "to us." Maybe she wasn't losing him after all. Of course that gave the suggestion that something else was wrong, because Randy's voice held something that wasn't him. She couldn't quite place the emotion: it wasn't fear, it wasn't nerves. She wasn't sure whether to ask him about it or not.

"I missed you like crazy, you know that?"

"I missed you too," things had changed for her, she missed him now because she missed his company, and his touch, whereas in the past she'd missed the protection and security he'd given her. He still gave her those things, but she wasn't reliant on them now. She was growing, she realised that, and she knew it was because of the space and support he'd given her to do that.

"How are things over there?" Randy missed being on Raw, she knew that. He had a lot of friends there. It was particularly difficult since Dave had been injured, as he'd been Randy's main friend and ally.

"Good, things are pretty crazy though. The writers are actually organised for once, and they're planning towards 'mania, sounds like it should be a hot card."

He nodded, the subject something he wanted to both address and avoid, "I heard from Dave, he's doing good, the rehab is going well."

"That's good to hear. Maybe he'll be back sooner than he thought."

"I hope so," the sadness in Randy's voice was something way beyond just missing a good friend.

"What is it babe? There's something wrong, isn't there?" She couldn't put off asking. Not any more.

"It's nothing… just this storyline with Rey. It's… I hate it Li." Randy took a large gulp from his wine glass, not wanting to burden Lita with this, not wanting to ruin their time off together. He'd tried hard to push it to the back of his mind and not let it bother him, but she knew him too well.

"I thought that something was wrong when we talked the other night. That was when you said Eddie was in hell, wasn't it?" She took the wine glass from his hand and placed it carefully on the floor. "Why didn't you tell me Randy?"

"I didn't want you to be worrying about me… and I thought that I shouldn't be so sensitive about it. Hell, I should be used to stuff like this by now, I've been wrestling for long enough." He'd been around wrestling all his life, but had never really bought into the idea of manipulating real life events.

"It's horrible, isn't it?" She looked at him sadly, knowing that he was experiencing pretty much the same emotions as she had.

"There was this guy at the airport… the stuff he said… I mean, I know that he was ranting at Randy Orton, wrestler, but it felt like he was ranting at me. It was so hard to not agree with him, not to say that I hate this storyline, that I hate all of this and that… I hate myself for disrespecting Eddie like this. He was such a great guy and he was so good to me, he taught me so much… and they're making me say this stuff about him and…"

"Shhhh," she put her finger to his lips, "don't. Don't talk about it. Don't dwell on it."

"How do I not?"

"I don't know. I'm not exactly the right person to ask, after the spectacular mess I made of everything," she smiled sadly, "but you got me through it."

"You got yourself through it."

"You were there to listen to me, to support me, and everything else, and I'll do the same for you. I'll try, anyway, as best I can." There was something akin to determination in her voice, a feeling that she had to do this, she had to test herself, she had to try to be an equal part of the relationship.

He recognised that, and nodded, "I've been keeping it to myself… I wasn't sure whether you were ready… I didn't want to put you under any pressure."

"You didn't have faith in me," she sounded hurt, so he quickly clarified how he felt.

"It wasn't that. You know that I have faith in you. It's just that… I should have told you right from the start, I just didn't want to put any pressure on you, and I thought I could handle it. Then it got harder and harder but I thought I could still handle it. Then it got harder and harder but I thought I could still handle it. I think that guy having a go at me just tipped me over."

"Then I'm glad he had a go at you." She laughed softly, and that forced a smile onto his face.

"Yeah, I guess."

She knew that she wasn't the strong person she used to be, but she also knew that she was developing different strengths, and that if nothing else she would be able to listen to Randy and be there for him. The really important thing for her was that unlike before, it was something she wanted to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Sometimes It's Easier (7?)  
Rating: PG or K+  
Content: Angsting, sappiness  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue  
Summary: I haven't updated this in agesnaughty me. This is a different storyline to the one I was initially going to write, but I think it works better. I'd love to know what you think of the direction.

Equality in a relationship was not something that Lita was used to. She'd always been drawn to men that liked to be in control; despite her strong and independent reputation, there had always been something alluring about a man who took control. She figured that her relationship with her father had a lot to do with that. Randy was completely different, giving her space and choice, and that took some getting used to. It was liberating though, for Lita, because she found herself becoming the person she'd always wanted to be, rather than the person other people wanted her to be.

Matt had been a very headstrong guy, emotional and passionate, who always wore his heart on his sleeve. Edge had been laid back, and more than happy to let things slide, to not worry about consequences. Randy was somewhere in between, and that balance was what Lita had been searching for. She was neither overwhelmed nor under-whelmed by him; he offered exactly what she needed.

Her only fear was when exactly she'd mess things up. Because she would, it was inevitable. She always did.

* * *

Despite Lita's words to him, Randy was still finding it hard to talk to her about how he felt. On screen, his troubles had died down a little, but it was still uncomfortable. Other wrestlers were still giving him flack over his agreement to use Eddie's name, and although Randy agreed with the sentiment of what they were saying, they didn't seem to understand just what had been threatened did he not go through with the storyline. No one wanted mid card mediocrity, no one wanted to burn their bridges at such a young age. Randy had learned that much from Hunter. He missed Dave's calming influence in the locker room, missed the way that the big man took control of the situation and explained things so clearly that there was no room for argument. Although Dave hadn't been in wrestling that long, he brought experience with him from several other fields, and that helped him to deal with the issues that inevitably arose. He was a natural leader, and wasn't so immersed in the backstage culture as others were. Consequently, it allowed him to call bullshit if things went too far. 

Sometimes, Randy wanted to call Lita up and rant about how things were, but he was still reluctant, even after everything she'd said. He knew it was an inequality in their relationship that he'd have to work to change, but it didn't make it any easier to do. In fact, in one way it made things worse, because deep down, he knew that he didn't quite trust Lita's strength yet. As much as she protested, and showed that she'd changed, he still wondered. He still worried.

He still questioned himself, questioned his motives. Was it really that he didn't believe her strength, or was it that part of him liked the thought of her being less than strong? Did he like her being reliant on him, did he like the feeling of protecting her? Those were dark thoughts, and ones that he didn't want to acknowledge. They were thoughts that existed though, and thoughts that wouldn't go away. Despite all the space he'd given her to grow, he'd always let her know that he was there to care for her, to hold her and make empty promises about how everything would be ok. He'd liked that role, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to give it up just yet.

And he certainly didn't want to appear weak, not again. He'd had one moment of weakness, he'd let his guard down and she'd seen him as he never wanted to be. He could pretend all he wanted that he wouldn't talk to her because of her, but just as much it was because of him. Call it stupid male pride, call it whatever you wanted, he did not want her to see him like that again.

Things hadn't yet gone too far in the Smackdown locker room, but they were getting there. It didn't help that a certain person was doing his level best to paint Randy as the bad guy. Matt may have called a truce with Lita, but he evidently still had a problem with Randy.

It was just snide comments at first; to Randy himself, to others within Randy's earshot, and later Randy discovered behind his back too. That in itself wasn't too bad; it wasn't anything Randy hadn't experienced before. It wasn't like Matt had a great deal of influence backstage, at least not with people that really mattered, and it wasn't as if wrestlers criticizing each other was a new thing. When Matt started leaking information and news to the internet dirt sheets, Randy started to question exactly why he was doing this and what he hoped to achieve from it. The information varied from old stories of Randy's worst excesses backstage to details of the strife and dissent the storyline referencing Eddie had caused.

Randy was a heel, and he expected the fans to react accordingly, but to have his past mistakes thrown in his face, and to have the fans abuse him every time he entered or left an arena was too much. Matt was crossing the line between real life and wrestling, blurring it for the fans, and Randy was taking the flack. And, from the subtle comments Matt had made sure Randy could hear, the young man knew it was a matter of time before news of his relationship with Lita made it to the internet.

While Randy didn't have a problem with that, he knew Lita would. He knew the more passionate side of Matt's fan base still hadn't forgiven her, and with her current storyline with Edge, neither had the casual fan. It wasn't as if WWE had given her a chance to put the past behind her. So, likelihood was, if news of their relationship got out, it would be Lita that got most of the flack, not him.

He wasn't sure what to do for the best: prepare her for the news coming out, or try to stop Matt taking things too far. He figured that if Hardy had called a truce with his former girlfriend, the last thing he'd want to do is hurt her. He did wonder at times if Matt had known Lita at all. From little things Lita had said, and from the way things had been since she'd split up with Matt, Randy seriously doubted that Hardy had ever made enough of an effort to really understand the girl he'd claimed to love.

Randy hoped to hell that talking to Matt would be enough to prevent him doing something stupid.

* * *

Randy found it hard to approach Matt, as he wasn't entirely sure what to say, what angle to take with him. Should he threaten to punch him in the face, try to reason with him, or find some other way of dealing with this? Lita knew him, she'd dealt with situations like this before, she'd know what to do, but it was entirely because of her that he was having to do this. He wanted to protect her from this, not drag her right into it.

Protecting her was something that aroused conflicting feelings in him. In one way, he wanted to shield her from anything that might hurt her, but he'd promised her and himself that he wouldn't do that. He'd promised to support her, not shield her. It was hard not to though, she'd already been through so much that he knew and much more that he suspected that she wasn't even willing to confront yet.

He'd have to ask her about what to do. He knew she'd never forgive him for hiding things from her, for underestimating her strength. It would have been easier to just deal with it on his own, but he was slowly learning that the easy way wasn't always the right way, especially with Lita.

* * *

"Li? Hey babe, you ok?"

She sat back on the bed in her hotel room, pleased to hear his voice. They hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks, and these phone conversations each evening were the highlight of her day, "hey gorgeous, I'm good. How're you?

"Yeah, missing you like crazy, but you already know that, right?"

"Oh I know, I'm feeling the same… exactly how long until I get to see you again?"

"Seven days, four hours… and about three minutes," he laughed softly, "and I can't wait."

She giggled, "it can't come too quickly."

"I know," Randy signed, he never imagined he could miss someone the way he missed her.

"What's wrong, Randy?" She'd known that there was something on his mind for a few days now, and if he wasn't going to mention it, she would.

"Matt's being a prick."

She sighed, knowing now why he was so reluctant to mention what was frustrating him, "that's nothing new, really."

"He's the one been leaking stuff to the internet dirt sheets."

"That doesn't surprise me either."

"I think he's going to tell someone about us."

He heard her breath catch in her throat, "bastard."

"What should I do?" Randy hated himself for causing that pain in her voice, "I need to talk to him… maybe persuade him to leave us alone?"

"He won't. I know him," she sounded resigned to what would happen, "he's an idiot, but… I thought he meant it when he said truce…"

"It's not you he's looking to hurt… it's me. He's been leaking all those stories about me, about the conflict I've been causing backstage… he wants to hurt me, not you."

"Doesn't he realize what this will do to me? They all hate me anyway… this is just going to make everything ten times worse," Lita was not hurting now, but angry. She'd hurt Matt, she knew that, but she thought they'd got past that, she thought he'd meant it when they called a truce.

"I'm gonna talk to him."

"It won't do any good."

"I need to try."

"Yeah."

"Li?" Randy was worried, she'd gone very quiet and he could hear sniffles, like she was trying not to cry, "Li, talk to me."

"I should be so, so happy to tell the world that I'm with you. I'm so proud of being with you… but the thought of letting everyone know… of them looking at me and everything that people will say to you about me…" she wiped at her eyes furiously, wanting to be stronger than this, wanting to be better, not wanting to let Matt win.

"I know, Iknow," if Randy wasn't sure about what to do about Matt before, he was now. "Li, I know… we'll be ok, I promise, even if everyone does find out."

"Don't make me promises you might not be able to keep."

"Ok then, I promise that I will love you, no matter what, yeah?"

"You can't be sure you'll keep that one either."

"I can Li, and I will."

"I miss you so much," she sighed, laying her head on the soft pillow, wishing it were him.

"Me too. 'Night, angel."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

As he hung up he cursed. He needed to deal with Matt and he needed to be with Lita. Tomorrow, he'd talk to Hardy, and then he'd fly straight out to where Lita was. He'd only be missing a couple of personal appearances, and the money he'd lose would be nothing. It was more important to be with her.


	8. Chapter 8

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (8?)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?

"Hardy. Outside. Now."

Matt nodded and followed Randy out of the catering room into the corridor. He knew what this would be about, and was just surprised that it had taken Randy so long to confront him.

"Hardy, I have no problem with you starting rumours and shit about me, but when it hurts Lita, I do have a problem with it."

Matt looked a little surprised at that, "why would any of this hurt her?"

"You think she enjoys any of this? You think she enjoys having the entire WWE audience thinking she's a slut and a career killer? Are you really as dumb as you look?"

"What's your point, Orton?" Matt did look a little disconcerted, but he tried to hide it. He'd called a truce with Lita, and his intention was to keep to that. Orton, he'd never made any promises to, and wasn't about to start.

"If you let the dirt sheets in onto the fact that me and Li are together, what do you think the fans are gonna say, huh? How do you think that is gonna affect her?" Matt wasn't blind, Randy knew that he must be able to see that.

"Then wouldn't it be more sensible for you two to split up before that information should become public?"

"And why would you want that to happen?"

"Because you don't deserve her. Because she don't deserve to have found someone so soon after what she did to me."

Randy laughed bitterly, "you're warped, you know that? Seriously warped. But let me tell you one thing… just one thing Hardy. If she gets hurt by any shit you pull, I will put you out of business, do you understand me?"

Matt looked angrily at Randy, but didn't respond. He stalked away, muttering something under his breath. That left Randy confused, as he didn't know if he'd just made things better or worse.

* * *

Calling up the press office to let them know he wouldn't be making his scheduled personal appearances for the next couple of days, Randy at the same time was briskly packing his things away. He couldn't wait to get to the airport and away from this place. The press office wasn't happy, but Randy didn't really care. He listened to their complaints, and then hung up. Lita was more important to him.

He knew he'd get a little flack for it when he got back, but didn't think it would be too bad. After all, what could the management do, really? He put that to the back of his mind as thoughts of his confrontation with Matt worked their way through his head. He wasn't entirely sure he'd done the right thing now. It was too late to go back and change things though, he'd just have to deal with whatever came next.

* * *

He hadn't told Lita that he was coming to visit her. He wanted it to be a surprise. She'd been up and down over the last few weeks, and after last night he wanted to be with her to make sure she was ok. He wanted to make her smile, to bring that sparkle to her eyes, to touch her and to make her happy. He wanted her to touch him, and hold him, and to make him smile and make him feel like he was the most important person in the world. He needed her to do all those things.

Randy wasn't entirely sure what hotel Lita was staying at, so he called up someone he suspected would know, "Cena, how're ya doing man?"

"Orton, long time no hear, what'cha want?"

"You know me so well. What hotel y'all staying at?"

"Marriott, why?"

"The big place outta town?"

"Yeah, wanna answer my question now?"

"No," they both laughed, "I'm surprised you have to ask anyway."

"Ah," realization came into Cena's voice, "surprising your girl?"

"Got it in one. Gotta go, catch up with you at 'Mania, yeah?"

"You know it man."

Randy hailed a cab and quickly gave instructions for his destination. He was impatient now. The ride was only ten minutes, but it felt like hours. Once at the hotel, he called up Lita.

"Hey babe, how're you doing?"

"Randy, hey."

"Li, honey, go down to reception."

She was intrigued at his request ,"why?"

"There's something down there for you. Call me when you get back up to your room, yeah?" He could hardly keep the smile out of his voice, "love you babe."

She hung up, pulled on a T-Shirt, a pair of track pants and her trainers, keen to see what Randy had done. She thought it might be flowers or something, to cheer her up, and was touched at the gesture.

The elevator took what seemed like ages to arrive, but eventually it did, and when she stepped out of it at reception the first thing she saw was Randy, stood in the middle of the lobby, smiling. She almost screamed in delight and ran over to him.

"Oh my god Randy what are you doing here?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly, "I've missed you so much."

"I know, I missed you too. Angel, I had to come see you… shall we go back up?"

She nodded enthusiastically, and led him back to her room. Once inside she wrapped her arms around him again and rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm so glad you're here Randy, I needed you so much."

"I needed you too angel, I missed you… I… I spoke to Matt," Randy touched Lita's cheek and forced her to look at him, "he's gonna tell them… I k now he is. He… I don't think it's you he wants to hurt but he's not that worried if you get hurt while this is going on… I'm so sorry Li."

Joy drained from her face, and she nodded sadly, "it's not your fault Randy, it would come out sooner or later, right?"

"It should be our choice though. Ours, not his… I wanna kill him for hurting you Li, I want us to be happy."

"I know," she sighed, "I know, and while you're here, I am."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," kissing him gently, she closed her eyes and relaxed against him, "how come you managed to get the time off anyway?"

"Blew off a couple of PA's, no big deal," he kissed at her neck, running his fingers through her hair.

"Randy you shouldn't do that," she pulled away from him, "don't piss off the management sweet, it's not worth it."

"You're worth it," he shrugged off the concern, "don't worry babe."

"I do worry."

"Ok then, don't worry about it right now, lets just relax and enjoy the time together, yeah?"

She nodded, "yeah, I can do that."

Randy kissed her tenderly, thoroughly; touching her, holding her, needing her. She picked up on his need, kissing him back, running her fingers through his hair, touching his chest gently under his T-shirt, featherlight touches that meant everything. She knew he was more affected by things than he let on, and she knew that he was trying to protect her. She loved him for that. She loved him, completely.

* * *

It was a rare but wonderful pleasure to wake up with Lita in his arms. Randy could sit for hours, watching the redhead sleep. She was always beautiful, but never more so than when she was like this: relaxed, calm, peaceful… one of the few times when she truly believed that nothing could hurt her.

He knew this relationship was way more intense than anything he'd ever been in before, and that it probably wasn't the most healthy relationship in the world, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, not when compared to the woman in his arms. And in a way, that scared him. Nothing in the world had ever been so important to him .

As she moved in her sleep her head rested on his chest, and she snuggled closer, instinctively. He brushed a few strands of hair away from her cheek and rested his hand on the small of her back. Being with her, like this, made him want to move back to Raw. Her moving to Smackdown wasn't an option while Matt was there, so he'd have to try to find a way to get back on to Raw.

Lita moved again, this time waking up a little. She looked up at him with a sleepy smile, then pressed a kiss to his chest, somewhere near to his heart.

"'Morning sweetheart."

"Morning…" she yawned and closed her eyes.

"Sleep well?"

"Mmmmm, how long've you been awake?"

"A while,"

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking."

"About?" A little more awake, she pushed herself up to lean on one arm.

"How much I love you."

"Aww, babe," she grinned and leaned over to kiss him, "I love you too."

"I love mornings like this, just you and me, when I wake up early and watch you sleep."

"You watch me sleep?" She looked at him curiously, "really?"

Randy blushed, "yeah… you're so beautiful, and you look so peaceful and happy… and I feel so proud to be with you and to have you here, and so lucky…"

She bit her lip, touched by his words, unsure of what to say. Recognising her discomfort, he kissed her, wanting to remember every moment, every sense, every smell, every touch. He needed her to know everything that he couldn't put into words, exactly how much she meant to him. And with each kiss, and each touch, she did.


	9. Chapter 9

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (9)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+ Content: Angsting Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?  
A/N: It's been a while, but I'm finally getting back into this. I'm not happy with this chapter, but I can't find any other way of doing it. Let me know what you think! 

Matt left it to a couple of days before Wrestlemania before leaking the news to a 'friend' who ran a website. Within hours, almost every wrestling news site was reporting the hot new gossip: Randy Orton and Lita were dating.

The first Lita knew of it was when her cellphone woke her up. On seeing Randy's name come up on the display she knew something was wrong. He never called her this early, especially when he knew she'd been traveling the night before.

"Hey, what's happened?" Her voice was filled with sleep and fear, as if the nightmare that had plagued her all those months was finally coming true.

"They know," Randy tried hard to keep the anger out of his voice, torn between wanting to be with Lita and wanting to destroy Matt, "he told them… it's everywhere."

She sighed. She'd always known it would happen, but when it actually did, she didn't know how to react to it, "what are they saying about me?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen anything yet. Cena called me earlier."

"What do we do?"

"What can we do Li? We knew this would happen eventually," Randy was wondering now if his behaviour the last few weeks had been a good idea. He'd tried to avoid Matt at all costs, to the extent of only being at arenas when absolutely necessary; rooming on his own; managing to get his own locker room most of the time. He'd virtually cut himself off from the rest of the roster in an attempt to keep himself away from Matt. Maybe if he'd confronted him weeks ago, this could have been avoided. Maybe…

"It doesn't stop it hurting though. Why does he have to be the one in control all the time?" Lita's tear-stricken voice was sharpened with anger, "why can't I be in control for once, why is it always him?"

"I don't know Li… listen, what time is your flight to Chicago?"

"I… I'm due into Chicago at six, I think."

"I think Cena's on the same flight… Li, he said if you needed anything, to give him a call… and I'd rather you weren't out on your own right now."

"You think it'll be that bad?"

"I don't know… I just don't want to take any chances where you're concerned, you know? We both know how cruel people can be when they don't know the truth…" his voice trailed off, as the situation finally impacted on him. Lita had taken so much from the fans, and this was just handing them more ammunition. This wasn't going to be easy, no matter what they did.

"OK, I'll call him."

"My flight lands at five, I'll meet you."

"Please," the weariness in her voice cemented Randy's anger and confirmed his decision.

"Love you angel, we'll get through this, I promise."

She sighed as she snapped the phone shut. This was it. No more hiding, no more pretending. Whatever anyone said to her, she loved Randy and Randy loved her. That was all that mattered.

She'd never been easily convinced.

* * *

The first Matt Hardy knew of Randy Orton's presence was when the latter's fist connected with the former's face. He didn't even get chance to respond, as a flurry of punches sent him crashing to the floor, only to be replaced with a few well aimed kicks to the stomach. It took a couple of their colleagues to pull Randy away from Matt, and even then it took dragging the irate man into another room and locking the door to actually get him to calm down. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been an asshole for the last few months, and now you're attacking Hardy for no reason in the hotel lobby of all places? What the hell happened to you Orton?" Benoit pushed Randy to the other side of the room and shot him a look that said 'don't even try to start anything with me'. Randy knew better than to argue with Chris anyway, and it wasn't him that he had a problem with.

"Hardy is doing everything he can to make Lita's life a misery, and I'm not going to let him destroy her. I've tried to stay away from him, but what he's done is too much. The asshole can do what he likes to me, but to make her live in fear, and then leak to the internet now about our relationship… I couldn't let him get away with that."

"Are you as dumb as you look or what?" The other man in the room spoke for the first time. Randy's eyes narrowed as he looked at Rey, a silent question between them. "It isn't Lita he wants to hurt, it's you. He just knows that messing with her emotions is the easiest way of messing with you, and you fell for it."

"How the hell did you work that out? How does what he's done hurt me?"

"Look at what you've done over the last few months! You've cut yourself off from everyone. Most of the roster thinks you're an asshole, and now you've attacked him in front of witnesses. You're going to be lucky if you keep your job after this, and even if you do, no one wants to work with you because they think you're an arrogant prick." Rey shook his head, he knew Randy was young but he hadn't realized he was so naïve. Rey had just assumed, like everyone else, that Orton thought he was better than the others. He hadn't realized that Randy's behaviour had been an attempt to keep Matt from messing up his relationship with Lita. "No one realized that was what it was man, I only see it now… and people ain't going to forgive easily. Matt's well respected, and you? After the way you've been acting, no one trusts you."

Rey's words hit home. Hard. They made sense. Randy had realized that Matt had a problem with him, but he hadn't put the pieces together. He sat down and put his head in his hands.

"What have I done?"

Benoit looked at Rey and shook his head. The young man had caused himself more trouble than he could ever have imagined. The best he could hope for now was a massive damage limitation exercise.

* * *

It didn't take long for news of what happened to reach management level, and Randy's cellphone was soon ringing. The name that showed up on the display didn't bode well. 

"Mr McMahon?"

"Orton, I've just been told what you did to Matt Hardy."

"Yes, Mr McMahon, and if you were told that I attacked him, that is correct."

Randy could almost hear the surprise on the other end of the line, "I've also had disturbing reports about your conduct backstage, are these correct?"

"Yes, they are. I had my reasons, but that is no excuse."

"Explain your reasons."

"I can't do that."

"I see," Randy heard Vince barking orders at his secretary, and then the words he was dreading, "you'll no longer be winning the title at Wrestlemania, and beyond that you will be suspended for sixty days. Being disruptive to the locker room environment is unacceptable. Attacking a colleague in public is completely unacceptable. You will take the time to consider that."

"Yes, Mr McMahon."

Randy hung up, and stared at the phone in a mixture of resignation, horror and fear. He couldn't deny anything he'd done; he certainly wouldn't reveal to management who it was that was leaking information to the dirtsheets, that would mean that he'd never be able to repair his tattered reputation; Matt had succeeded.

How the hell was he going to explain all this to Lita?


	10. Chapter 10

Titles: Sometimes it's Easier (10)  
Rating: PG-13, or K+  
Content: Angsting  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
Summary: Sequel to Unrequited. Can Randy help Lita get her life back?

Randy's flight to Chicago wasn't a comfortable one, even though he enjoyed the luxury of business class. He could guess what the conversation would be about back in peasant class, bitching and moaning about him, his attitude, what he'd done to Hardy, everything. And no doubt, Hardy would be at the centre, egging them on. If only theu knew.

It would come out soon enough, at the meeting the next morning most likely: Randy Orton, how the mighty fall. Given his recent attitude Randy knew that he couldn't expect much sympathy; didn't deserve it. He'd been stupid, he knew that, and he would pay for it in the worst way. Hardy though, he got off scot free, and it didn't seem fair. Randy couldn't even rationalise that he had Lita and Matt never would again, because he couldn't be entirely sure that she would want to stay with him after this. He knew what Matt's irrational and impulsive behaviour had done to her during their relationship, and here he was behaving in the same way. He wouldn't blame her if she walked away.

He didn't know what he'd do if she did though. It didn't bear thinking about.

* * *

He sat in the arrivals lounge, waiting. Her flight should have just landed, as the last time he checked it was due in on time. Over and over in his head he ran through what he'd say, how he'd tell her, when he'd tell her. The whole issue of their relationship now being public knowledge didn't seem so bad now, at least not to him. He knew that it would be foremost on her mind though, but wondered how he was going to support her when it felt like his whole world had crashed around him.

When he saw her, the mix of emotions within him was almost painful. She looked so pale, so tired, so beautiful. Cena, stood next to her, made her already slim frame look almost frail. Once Randy caught her eye, her face brightened, she dropped her bags and ran over to him. The moment his arms wrapped around her he cursed himself for having been so stupid, for risking this. He didn't say anything, just held her tightly.

Cena followed her over, carrying her bags as well as his own. He was good friends with Randy, and had got to know Lita quite well through the program they'd worked together. He knew they were good for each other, it was obvious when you saw them together. Not wanting to intrude, but wanting to get to the hotel as soon as possible, he coughed. Randy looked over and forced a smile.

"Sorry man, thanks for the help," Randy's voice was low, and Cena could tell there was something wrong.

"Yeah, thanks for looking after me," Lita looked up and smiled, "I appreciate it."

"Any time Red. Orton, we'll talk tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah man."

Randy held Lita for a little longer, then reluctantly picked up their bags and made to leave. They needed to be alone, and needed to talk.

* * *

Lita could tell something was wrong, something beyond what Matt had done. Randy was quiet: he seemed nervous and worried about something. Strangely, she felt like the news recently revealed by Matt had unburdened her a little: she was still concerned and dreading what the fans would say at the next show, but she felt almost free for once, as Matt no longer held anything over her. Sure, the fans could, and would, be cruel, but if she could just remember that they were just words, she'd be ok.

Randy, she was worried about. Something had happened.

"Tell me," she whispered, sitting down on the bed and motioning for him to sit next to her, "tell me what's happened."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? What's happened? Randy?" She was more than worried now. She turned and forced him to look straight at her, "what is it Randy?"

"I'm not gonna win the title, and after Wrestlemania I'm suspended for sixty days." He looked away, knowing that if he saw disappointment in her eyes it would hurt worse than any punishment Vince McMahon could think up.

"Why?"

He hated that, hated the sadness in her voice, hated even more that it was because of him. "I've been avoiding Hardy, trying to keep away from him, keeping away from everyone… today I couldn't, and I attacked him in the hotel lobby. Now because of how I've been acting everyone thinks I'm a prick and Hardy's won."

"Shit."

"I'm sorry… I was just so angry… I haven't been thinking straight. Rey says I've played right into his hands… he said that Hardy was trying to provoke me, and it's worked. Now I've messed up my career and he's won, and I could lose you because I'm so stupid and then he really would have won," he stood up and walked over to the window, staring out at the Chicago skyline, lost in his own feelings.

He hardly heard her whispered words but he felt her arms around him, her head resting on his back. Slowly, his mind came back to the here and now and he listened to what she was saying.

"I'm not gonna pretend I'm not disappointed, because I am, but I understand, and I'm going nowhere sweetheart, not now, not after everything we've already been through," her voice was low but soothing, and he wanted desperately to believe what she was saying. The hurt behind her words cut deep though.

Slowly, reluctantly he turned around to face her. She looked up at him, biting her lip, one half of her wanting to scream at him in frustration, the other wanting to kiss him and make everything right.

"Scream at me. Tell me I'm an idiot, tell me how much I've hurt you and messed everything up, don't be afraid of me, don't be afraid of how I'll react, just say it," Randy never wanted her to be scared of him, never wanted her to be worried about telling him something, or scared of pulling him up when he'd done something wrong.

"I don't need to tell you, do I?" She realised now that was what was different about Randy. He knew what effect his behaviour would have on her. Maybe not at the time, but afterwards he knew. And he worried. He cared. He cared more about her than himself, and that gave her a sense of peace that she had never felt before. "Nothing I could say would make you feel any worse than you already do. You understand me, so you know why I'm hurt. I don't need to punish you, you're doing that yourself."

He nodded, "if I could go back, and change what I've done…"

"You can't. Just… we can't change things, we both know that." She sat down again and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "We need to stop letting him dictate how we feel, how we act, and what we do. He's only affecting us because we let him."

"You're right," Randy could see that now, and his heart leapt because Lita sounded like the old Lita, the spirited girl he had always known she was.

"So we deal with your suspension, and then see what happens, OK?"

"OK." He knelt in front of her and kissed her. Suddenly it felt like a weight had been lifted. Paradoxically, what had started as one of the worst days of his life was finishing as one of the better days. Being suspended would give him a chance for a fresh start. It would give both of them that chance.


	11. Chapter 11

Sometimes It's Easier – Epilogue  
Rating: R  
Content: Angst, fluff  
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone mentioned herein and make no profit from this  
Distribution: Camelot, ffn, anyone else ask first.  
A/N: So this is it. I figured this could either go on for ever, or I could bring it to a close. As much as I've enjoyed writing it, I think it came to a natural conclusion. Hope you like, feedback is always welcome.

In one way Randy's suspension was a blessing in disguise, as it meant he could spend more time with Lita. She'd reduced her schedule somewhat, no longer needing the regular income a house show appearance would bring, so they spent a lot of time at her place, rebuilding everything they had destroyed or lost over recent times. It was time they needed, and in a way Randy was grateful to Matt for bringing things to a head. There were no more secrets, nothing else held over them. The past would only continue to impact on them if they let them.

It would take a while to learn that lesson though. Lita felt like she'd spent so long running from her past, hiding from it, letting it run her life. Freedom wasn't an easy thing to get used to. Conversely, Randy found that he enjoyed the freedom he'd lost. He felt that being needed and wanted was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Far from feeling tied down, he felt grounded and secure for the first time, and it was some kind of safety that he realised he'd been craving all along.

He sat on Lita's porch, waiting for her to arrive back from a Raw taping. He'd spent pretty much all of his time at her place since the suspension had started. Although he recognised and laughed at the cliché, it just felt right. A sense of peace was something new to him, and it was something he enjoyed and appreciated. No longer did he feel like he was yearning for something that constantly eluded him.

Yet something was eluding him. Suspension had hurt his career, badly. People wondered if he'd ever manage to come back and be successful: he appreciated fully what Lita had described, that sense that you could only be what they described you as, that what you were seen as was what you were. Randy was seen as a bad boy, so to many people, that was what he was, and what he would always be. At last, he could truly feel that he understood what Lita had been through, because he was in that place.

That didn't disturb him as much as it should. He had something, someone. He felt secure where he was and with who he was. Lita gave him the solid foundation she'd never had. He wanted to give her the same, and he finally thought that he was close to doing that.

He felt that he was home.


End file.
